I Hate Having My Picture Taken

Do you spend countless hours untagging pictures of yourself on Facebook?  The truth is, almost NOBODY likes EVERY picture they appear in. With digital cameras in everyones pocket, there are more pictures making the rounds. So naturally there are more photos of you to hate yourself in. With the popularity of Facebook and countless other photo sharing sites, there's almost no getting around it. Granted, sometimes your expression can be a little off (like if you're about to sneeze), but nobody thinks that's how you really look. The fact is, if you're in a photo, people will see it. If you find yourself despising more photos of yourself than not, there's a few things you may consider doing that can alleviate some of your anguish.

1. Practice in the mirror. If you're just uncomfortable in front of the camera, practice your "look" in front of a mirror. But be aware…it's a mirror so everything is backwards. This is not exactly how you'll look in a photo.

2. Make self portraits in secret. This is a great way to practice your "look." Most cameras have timers and most computers have built in web cams. No one will know but you, so practice your posing.

 3. Learn how to pose.  If you have a "good side" try to position yourself with your head slightly turned to be on the good side. …extend your chin if you have more than one.  Try to arrange your body about 3/4 toward the camera (with one shoulder closer to the camera than the other). If you're in a seated position, try to angle your body slightly. Ask the photog to count to 3 so your ready…take a deep breath just before the photo is taken. Be aware of your posture!

4. Ask to see it. Not every picture is a posed shot, so ask to see the photo after it's taken. If you don't like it, politely ask the photo-taker to take another one or to NOT post it on-line. Depending on how well you know the shutterbug, you could ask to see the photos before they are made public. 

 5. Behave yourself! Don't put yourself in potentially embarrassing situations where someone would WANT to photograph you. People would just love to get a picture of you doing something silly or potentially embarrassing so they can share it with others. If you happen to have a judgment lapse and someone gets a photo, ask them nicely to keep it private. It's probably not a good idea to pose with the stripper at your bachelor party if you have political aspirations…or if you wife-to-be doesn't know about the stripper. Remember: everybody has a camera. 

 6. Stay out of the photo. If you fret about it that much, ask the photog in a nice way to please refrain from taking pictures with you in it. If someone is taking candid shots that include you and you'd rather they didn't, politely ask them not to. If you're with a group and someone pulls out a camera, politely back away. Tell them digital cameras interfere with your pacemaker, or that being in a photo will compromise your secret agent status. 

 7. Ask for help. Chances are you have a friend that feels the same way you do about seeing themselves in a photo. Practice taking pics of each other and discuss what you like or don't like. Give your friend honest advice and they're likely to do the same.

 8. Don't Look. If you hate looking at yourself in photos, don't look at yourself in photos. What you see is not what everyone else sees. If it pains you that much to look, look the other way. I don't like reality TV, so I don't watch any reality TV.

 9. Fix it. If you're unhappy with your overall appearance, try something different. There must be a million different ways to change your appearance to something you like better. Unfortunately, I'm not qualified to give beauty tips so please ask a professional.

 10. Just get over it! Again, only YOU see YOU the way YOU do. Chances are you don't look any different than you usually do, and that's how people see you. No one stresses over how you look in a photo except you.

Bonus Tip: Hire a professional photographer.

AND, if you're the one taking and posting photos, use discretion! If the person is a friend of yours, it's always good to check with them before posting (I have several arrangements like this). If it's a particularly unflattering photo, think before you post! And yes, I've learned this from experience. People can be quite hypersensitive about others seeing them in photos. Try not to offend. If someone asks you to remove a photo from Facebook, do it. No questions asked. Often, a photo you took may look fine to you, but the subject might not like it. No point in making anymore enemies than you have to!

Distract Your Kids

Last week I realized something that's probably painfully obvious to most photographers. There's a big difference between taking pictures of your kids and someone else's kids. Whenever I've taken pictures of a client's children, most of the time they're cooperative and willing to do what I ask them to do. When it comes to my own kids, forget about it.  

My daughter used to LOVE to get her picture taken and would pose away whenever I asked her to. Now, at age 11, she doesn't really cooperate. She insists she's trying, but no matter what, she closes her eyes, something itches, the flash is bothering her...it goes on and on. My son is the same way, but he never liked getting his picture taken.

Then I came across the picture above I took in 2008. I realized this is really the best way to take pics of your own kids: Have someone else distracting them while you take as many pictures as you can. One of them is bound to be a keeper AND you're getting a very candid portrait, which is what I'm usually after anyway. It's a tactic you'd expect to use with only babies and toddlers, but it works with pre-teens too.

For the picture above, I found a grassy area while visiting the Polynesian Village at Disney World. My wife distracted them while I snapped away. You can see my son is in mid-sentence while my daughter is half laughing...great capture.

The problem I had last week was when it was just me trying to take their picture (for this years Christmas card). I had to try on two different days because my daughter couldn't stop fidgeting and absolutely refused to keep her eyes open. I never did get the picture I really wanted, but eventually got something I could work with. I'm saving the whole story for a later blog.   

Off Guard

 Talking about expressions one more time...

Catching people off guard allows me to freeze a moment in time. This is REALLY how people see you moment after moment. Posing is nice, but I think the best portraits come when the subject forgets for a moment that they're getting their picture taken.

Would you think that the movement and expression you make for a brief moment when you are adjusting a stool you're sitting on would produce something print worthy?  It did, and above you see the result.

Expressions

"I wasn't ready!"

I hear that a lot during a shoot. Sometimes I tell the subject that I'm just checking the camera settings as I shoot away and they're talking about problems with their neighbors dog.

Me: "All done!"
Them: "wha...?" 

I'm trying to get a very natural expression. Nothing posed, no typical "smile and say cheese" poses (or as I like to say, "cheese and say smile"). This is one of the ways I catch who the subject really is...how the world sees them and how they see the world. 

I always do plenty of posed shots during a shoot but I always throw in a bunch like this one just to mix it up a bit and show something very unique. Reactions are usually mixed. Some folks are not used to seeing themselves as they really are and instantly reject shots like this. Other people do just the opposite.